I read once that it’s important to talk about goals as declarative statements, so that’s what I’m trying to do.
Turning “I’m working on possibly opening up a store” into “I’m opening a store!”
Changing my “Can you help me?’s” to “I’d love your help.”
The article even took it a step further by talking about how important it is to get rid of contractions in your emails.
“I would love your help.”
“I am excited about the store that I’m opening.”
When I first read that, I felt like it sounded a little intense. I pictured someone who isn’t gracious and that no one wants to work with. But then I began to realize how often I speak that way and really noticing how it came off. I was undercutting my own words as they come out of my mouth.
Since quitting my job, kind people in my life have asked me what I’m up to. And while there are definitely a few answers that are both honest and accurate, (working for a jewelry store, working for a bakery, working on my own creative output, not to mention: I have no franking idea) none of them are the whole truth.
“I’m working on opening up a store and creative space called Home Ec.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue. They probably can even see it in my face that there’s more there. But I can barely bring myself to say it.
By not being able to share this simple sentence with full eye contact, my shoulders back and with a strong conviction, I have realized something huge: I’m doing everything in my power to avoid failure and put off the starting line. By continuing to speak about this idea as something that is open ended and just a pipe dream, I can never possibly miss the mark on my timeline. I can never be held accountable to my word. Because it never existed in the first place.
A few reasons why I should assume success instead of failure:
- Because I can.
- Because I will.
Even typing that feels arrogant.
Maybe it’s because of my gender.
Maybe because of my upbringing.
I would so much rather look at it as confidence and giving myself the best mental shot at success. Other people are rooting for me. I need to start rooting for myself first.
Another obvious advantage in sharing words that scare me: free help. I’m constantly telling people that the reasons I’ve decided to stay and live in Southern California is the community. But then why am I so resistant to tapping into that resource and pumping it dry?! Within reason, the more people that know about my goals, my hopes and my dreams, the more people that can help me get there. DUHHH.
I’m opening a store. It is happening. Do I have a grand opening date circled on my calendar? Not yet. But I will have one.